July 11, 2020I am learning to let go of things that I cannot control, and I feel relieved.
This week has been a very fun week on my behalf!! Plus, our PTM is tomorrow. And lastly, we will have our holidays soon!! To be specific, Shrawan 1st (July 14). Yep, our holidays are that near!! So, I will share what is going on in my mind these days. Well, let me not make further delay!!
First, what is going on in my mind because of our PTM that is tomorrow!! Let me start by how the PTM usually goes in Physical. The teachers till grade 5 tell only our good points. Now, since we are in grade 6 i.e Unit 2, the pressure upon us is really very high!!
Because you do not know maybe the teacher will maybe put some anger that is within them about us to our parents and then, you know, our parents get angry at us.
But I know that will possibly not even be thought of. Because the main focus we put on is our marks/grade points of our Exam. The embarrassment comes over there!! So, that is the main cause of my nervousness.
But, as Deepti ma’am once told me that I should let things go which I cannot control!! Well, I am doing that and honestly, it feels a lot better than before. It feels like you are only floating just an inch above the ground by years of meditation. At least I am relieved now.
Second, from the mistakes I make!! I feel really scared these days more than before after I make a not huge but even a tiny mistake!! Cause I think my dad and mom both, will just scold me and then I start trembling with fear.
And then I speak in not so much, but a low voice which my mom can barely even hear. Then when she ears it I feel that she scolds on the basis of how important the thing which I broke or the thing which I did wrong was!! But that is not reality. She scolds me all the same no matter how precious it was!!
And then when she stops, I feel like “What a relief! Phew!!” And then if she sometimes reads my mind, she might say “If you are thinking like “PHEW”, then please do not hesitate to come near…” And then I am like acting my best to prove I am not feeling like that!! It makes me laugh when I am writing this, but, I feel so sad and relieved when she finishes. So, this might be the first time I might be sharing this kind of feeling. This is for me personally going to be a really enjoyable memory. I am so sure of it.
And now, I do not need to share how I feel about the vacation because everyone has known it already that we will feel relieved!! But, I will try and share it from a rather funny or maybe an interesting view!! The relieving feeling is different this year. I would rather describe it as a time where people want to say no to the devices and say yes to eye doctors. I feel like literally my eye is not in proper condition. And no one in Nepal would want to visit anywhere. For me, I just wanna sit at my home, and sleep with my mom or maybe even listen to Deepti ma’am’s podcasts. But, I do not want to look at a device. Course books, OK, Copy exercises!, Ok! But the screen, I do not think so! Though I will avoid looking at the screen, I will still be writing this diary!!
And now, we have a new member of the team. Her name is Ananya. And now, I feel like I wanna know her. I mean, it is usual, if there is a new boy/girl in school, you would want to talk to him/her. But, some do not. But for me, being an extrovert would love to meet new people and make friends with them.
Moment of truth: This is the moment where I say the truth about what I have said in this diary!! So, I might have told no to screen right now on my vacation, I never ever had a fixed mind so I might even use soo much tech at the time, you never know!!
Now, with a lot of energy but some pain in the ankle, I want to say bye to everyone who is reading this even to people who aren’t reading this article and I hope that you all have a good week!!