Mamen – as she was demonstrating her pose in front of around twenty-odd people in a Yoga studio, I was staring at her from a corner of the room.
Her Yoga pose was perfect. She did it so confidently and gracefully. There was no room for any error. We all looked at her in awe.
And I was jealous.
I remember our first meeting. It was a cold evening in the beginning of 2019. Both of us were waiting for the Yoga instructor with the same apprehension, ‘I am new to Yoga Teacher Training. Can I do it?’
We were getting ready for the Yoga Teacher Training. Both of us went through the same rigorous training for 3 months and we graduated in May 2019.
Fast forward, January 2020, she stands in front of me confidently demonstrating her perfect Yoga pose in a class filled with students; and here I am looking at her from a corner wondering how she can do it so flawlessly while I am struggling to lift my hand.
‘I had a demanding job, I was traveling a lot, I did not have time for any practice.’ I came up with several excuses.
After a class, I complimented her. She spoke about how busy she had been last year because of her son’s surgery.
‘Yet, you have been so dedicated to Yoga,’ I commented.
‘I made that choice,’ she replied with a smile.
That was a very powerful statement.
The reason why I am behind while she is not is because of the choice we made in our journey.
She was consistent with her practice, she spent hours with the teachers, she worked on her skills, she built up her confidence, and she made a choice to move forward in her journey.
I stepped back.
And life goes the same way.
There is a choice we must make in everything we do; and in the end, the choice we make, makes us.
Yes, we have a freedom to make any choice but the moment we make a choice, that is going to determine what’s going to happen to us tomorrow.
Yet, we see ourselves complaining and bickering as we compare our own life with other’s accomplishment. We forget how much the other person has consistently worked to reach where he or she is today.
Back to my jealousy.
Jealousy is normal, we are all humans. We are jealous of someone who has something we think we ought to have ourselves.
Again, we all have two choices here.
We can either feel miserable about anything that’s not ours or get inspiration from other’s success story to create our own story.
Coincidentally, Mamen’s Yoga demonstration happened on the first day of the New Year 2020. And we all know that it is that time of the year when we take a moment to review and reflect.
It’s also the time to make a choice and decide what to do with the time that is given to us.
As my mentor once said,
‘When it comes to making choices, understand that every day you are either preparing or repairing. If you make a bad choice today, you will repair tomorrow. If you make a good choice today, you prepare for a better day tomorrow.’
With this in mind, I hope that we all start this new beginning on the right foot, and make a choice that takes us further.
I was thinking the same thing recently. I used to be a full time journalist until I got carried away with other hobbies. So lately I’ve been watching one girl who had little idea about journalism, yet making her way through. I felt jealousy – why is she successful and I, with lot more experience and knowledge, stand behind. Until I realised – I can’t expect someone just hand me an opportunity. She may lack talent but she wakes up early and works for it, while I’m just sitting and waiting for someone to recognize my God given gift. I used my negative energy and time spent obsessing over it to start moving, blogging, pitching… Now I feel great. Tnx, unhealthy coping mechanisms 😂😂
We should be thankful that we recognize our negative emotions and we are ready to work on it. Being jealous sucks but we are humans, we get jealous. But what’s important is we need to be mindful of our emotion. Life is a process, we keep working and improving, I guess 💕. Thank you so much for sharing your story.